I keep going back to my April 24th post when I wrote:
But I know the end result is worth it: A take home baby--- No tubes, no wires, no alarms, eyes opened, crying pink baby, a healthy baby boy for us! We are in the home stretch!
Well our baby boy did not have any tubes or wires or alarms. He was pink. He was big (7lb 12oz) and beautiful (head full of black hair, chubby cheeks) and healthy as far as we know.
This Wednesday we were supposed to meet him. I need to get through this week.
I still cannot wrap my head around what happened to our baby. Stillborn. What an awful, absolute term. I cannot believe that we will soon be burying our 3 child in 2 years. We are heartbroken and empty.
When the triplets were in the NICU, at least we had hope. Hope that they would get better, hope that they would come home.
Thank goodness for Nina. We say it all the time, but she is a miracle.
She is a miracle that she survived a premature entry into this world, but she is our miracle for keeping this family together right now with her laughter and hugs.
16 comments:
praying for you...
i say all the time that my daughter saves my life daily. especially in the ugly, rawness of grief.
i'm so sorry and i honestly cant believe this has happened to you a second time. my thoughts & prayers are with you...
One foot in front of the other. One step at a time. Do it for Nina...she needs her Mama.
You're constantly on my mind and in my prayers Judith. I just wish there was something that I could do to help from afar.
My heart is breaking for you. And getting past the due date is a feat in and of itself. It was a terrible day for me.
I hate the term stillborn too. At Ezra's funeral, our rabbi said he had 'died just before he was born'. I so prefer that phrasing, and its what I use most of the time.
Judith & Jason,
Please know that your friends are thinking of you and trying to send you all the strength we can. It is unimaginable to me why you are having to face this pain.
Your son was beautiful because he was made from a family so full of love.
Let Nina bring you two through this tough time. That sweet little girl will remind you of all that is good and wonderful.
Thinking of you always and wishing we could take some of the pain away.
Still holding your family close to my heart. I am so sorry again. My older daughter, also, held us through the loss of her sister. I say daily, "Thank God for Dahlia." Love to you during this difficult and unfair time.
Yes, stillbirth is an ugly term. I despise it and I hate how that is what comes to mind to most when people think of my daughter.
I am so sorry another mother has to know the all-encompassing and soul-crushing pain of a stillbirth, but especially you, who has already endured so much having lost two of your precious triplets.
You are an inspiration. Keep sharing your story. It helps to feel less alone.
I cannot, from the depths of my soul imagine how you are feeling. This is so unfair, though that word doesn't do justice for what you are going through.
Thank God for Nina. She is indeed, a miracle! Hold her tight.
You may not realize it (or maybe you do) but there are people whom you've never met who love you and are praying for you!
although i don't know you i've read your blog and have been thinking about you so much. i am just so so sorry it's ended up this way. it is so unfair and awful. i too was at the very end of my pregnancy and believed that i'd be meeting my son so soon, any day and alive. i hate the word still born too. it's like they weren't babies at all. i'm so glad that you have your miracle girl to hold you up right now.
take care of yourself.
sending you love
Thinking of you constantly.
Sending you strength and lots of love.
My heart is so heavy right now. I am so sorry for your loss and sent lots of prayers and thoughts to you and your family during this time.
Elaine from MT
There are no words to say how truly sorry I am for your loss :(
Judith - my aunt read my entry about your loss on my blog and in honor of Natalie and Abby's birthday (May 15), she wants to make a donation to you, or to a charity of your choice in memory of your children.
If you can email me or make a post about where donations might be made...
Also, have you named your dear baby boy?
Johelen
johelenc1@yahoo.com
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I lost my triplet boys this past October and November. They were born too early. Just know one day we will be with ALL our children again.
www.mylife.ericajoyce.com
Blessings-
Erica
Judith and Jason, please hold out hope that better things will surely come your way in the future, although I'm sure that this time of pain feels like it is too much to bear. Great things are in store for your family, and your little miracle Nina will help pull you through this and she will keep you both strong.
Love to you always, Melissa Bob & Rachel
My heart aches for you. I have been thinking of you since I read the post about baby boy. Praying hard!
I am so glad you have Nina to ease the pain. She IS a miracle. An ADORABLE miracle at that!
I'm so sorry for you loss. And I'm very thankful that little Nina is helping you to survive this. Noone should have to go through loosing a child. And definitely not 3. Sometimes I can't tolerate the cruelty that is life.
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